You Have Them to Thank

Elizabeth Barton

They got what they wanted.

Your whole life, your happy,

your effervescence and charm.

The elvish humour. Your love

of poetry. I see they've taken it.

And not for love. It was

the only way to survive

in a bully-boy culture, adopt

their tactics. Emulate their style.

You have bills to pay, sure.

But they killed everything in you

that was worth living for.

They whipped you with censure,

petty criticisms; upbraided small

oversights, cut you a thousand times.

Hairline incisions, as you molded

yourself within their ethic. Death

by a thousand paper cuts, as they say.

I watched you vanish, irresistibly

as the tide swallows the sand.

You have them to thank, when life

loses its lustre. When you feel

you have to pass on the mean

to feel better about yourself. When

you lose the reason to smile,

you have them to thank. When they

brand you with the mark of a slave

because you are their choicest prize.

And still you suck the stench of their

wiles as they crush your spirit.

You have them to thank as they

pay you a meagre wage, just to keep

a roof over your head and food

in your belly, but all the gold

in the world cannot reclaim you.

I watched them at work; I've watched

them for a long time, a sentry in a dark

outpost familiar with their terrain.

They will cut you to pieces like carrion

crows to gorge on your stinking corpse.

You will be a memory, a phantom

of yourself. And confused, wonder

where you went when you look on

your life and have them to thank – until

you stand up and get the hell out.

Published in Issue No. 8, Verbum Clavis, May 1st, 2025.

Elizabeth Barton is an artist and poet from New Zealand. She has poetry published in numerous journals and anthologies including Vita Brevis Press, Literary Revelations, Flights, Suburban Witchcraft Magazine and Spillwords.com. She is the author of the award-winning pamphlet Mirrored Time from Hedgehog Poetry Press, and All Revolutions Begin This Way and Auroral, from Alien Buddha Press. Her art is in private and public collections worldwide including the V & A Museum Prints Collection, London.